Shaved my legs yesterday hoping to feel more like an otter and less like a barbie.
I don’t want to be called sexy.
- these days it seems like I just can’t save anyone from heartache.
I want to be here
Slowly allowing myself to bake until my mind melts.
Resisting the urge to write you poetry
makes my bones ache.
Why do you have to be so blindingly brilliant.
It’s like you never let go grabbing on to me teeth first.
: I want to make my toy box into a project thing. It will be a collection of kinetic & carnal toys to be shared as interactive installation. This spinning button toy is the exact kind I grew up with and want to buy or make my own.
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I was thinking and reflecting back on my photo body of work and went through flickr. My goodness I have seen a lot of smiles, hugs, lights and half naked dancers and performers. If you take to the concept of seeing is experience and being active in life takes to you so many unexpected places.
This if one of my favorite images. This is how my brain works.
Turning Monroe off and on -
route 66 motel
Diggin these two oldies lately.
A mentor, friend and community organizer once looked at me and said “I can’t wait to see what kind of art you will share”. He was implying at burning events. To my knowledge he knows nothing of my love of cinema my 6 year abusive relationship with photography or that I lean towards installations and performance. At that time I was non productive, expressively catatonic and was trying to grasp what it was that I was capable of giving back to a world I seemed to be depending on so much. I came out blank.
Two year later, many miles, stories, pains, pleasures, and movies after I faced my fear and my desire to hook suspend. My toes bore into the ground with my entire weight desperately terrified of the next two inches. A thick band of face paint wide across my eyebrows framing the waterfall of tears surging down my nose. The filter was gone, the anxiety of the past and future world of fears dissolved into a sobering present.
Floating up higher and higher an unfamiliar pain seized my lower back as my spine adjusted to this new elevation. I acknowledge the daily ache in my bones and continued to see past it, to feel the breeze across my chest and the music crawling up my arms and down to my feet. I began to sway, to dance, to observe, to experiment, to laugh, to play, to top. The mixture of all that I am through my culture, my history of honest, service, creativity, ferocity and love. Without barrier it came in waves through my toes and fingers as they traced the sky with the notes of David Bowie.
Here I realized that art shouldn’t dominate my fears, it isn’t a job, it’s a passion and a tool. I gave myself permission to take breaks to wander and to be open to learning of new ways to share my love of living with others. Hook suspension was one of those new ways to dance and to create a space.
- (My next post with be a brain/storm list of performance art ideas that have been bouncing around in my mind. )
I so want to be body painted in dots and have people connect them!
- Bird can we do this on family night?
Word for word in that order I concur.
I love my life in ways I didn’t even know was possible or attainable for me. I walked across the living room and up to the center of the front room and stated- “It’s an amazing feeling to know/sense/rejoice that the most productive and happy part of my life is starting and continuing.” Yesterday my love ,Bird, from their content spot on the couch continued to brainstorm design, furniture and function ideas for our front living room. Bird looked at me and said we can finally do performance art. Since our first date was to talk about bike touring and performance art. Instead we ended up passionately dating, and getting married.
I turned to them and said I want to be a snake commenting on our decision to keep the hardwood floor bare there. I want to snake across the room. Bird’s hands writhed in a swift flow. I responded “No more like a snake the ever so slowly work it’s way across a room as a long term performance.”
I have a love in my life who enjoys, cinema, food, travel, art, performance, and indulging the senses as much as I do. I am fortunate enough to have found a talented body painter and have spent part of my morning flowing across google images for documents of amazing body paint to treat and inspire my love.
Please share- I am looking for an evening job. I have nightlife, retail, hosting, photo, networking history. Would love to start bartending
I am open to making a youtube video about my qualifications
deeply sad and its permeating my bones, heart and energy level. I was super excited to do festivals with my bird and was also excited to possibly work a festival two blocks from my. house. I work all weekend but am off today and only realized I missed the opportunity to go as I started hear music all the way into my sun room and restroom 15 minutes before it’s over. I am home and I hope that bird enjoys the fact that they get to experience. I wallow.
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blast from the past
Beautifuly brutal at Death Valley today. 110 plus today. This is the view from a short driving path off the main road.